I used to feel that I wanted everything I pursued to come easily. I mean, after all, wouldn’t that be, well, easier? When attainments have been harder than I expected them to be, my knee-jerk reaction was to feel resentful, disillusioned, and even like quitting. Recently, my perspective changed drastically, when I listened to a friend of mine during her training at a company retreat.

My friend shared a story about a football team. “What if,” she said, “this team had no resistance, no obstacles. They simply ran down the field and scored, again, and again, and again. Even if they were ‘our’ team, you have to admit, it would be pretty boring to watch.” The obstacles and the resistance are what make the victory so savory. This has put my own struggles in a whole new light for me.  Now, when I face a challenge, or when I don’t have success on my first or second attempts, I choose to press on, knowing that this is just sweetening the pot for my eventual triumph.

As leaders, we have to learn to exercise our minds, just like we need to “work out” our bodies. It has been said, “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” When we exercise our physical bodies, we utilize and develop mental toughness in order to press forward. It feel often extremely uncomfortable to continue striving past our usual limits, but we know that doing so is good for us, and so, we play whatever “mind games” we need to in order to get our desired result.

Likewise, our circumstances in life can offer us amazing resistance to our desired goals. Interestingly, it is not despite, but because of that resistance, that our trials can also be harnessed to make us mentally strong. Think of it this way; when we work out, we don’t think of the exercise equipment as our enemy. The equipment is just a tool, implemented to achieve a desired result. So too, our circumstances, though they often feel “weighty,” provide the necessary resistance to develop our mental toughness. Great leaders won’t complain about their circumstances but embrace the opportunities hidden inside tough situations to excel and overcome.  Leaders tell themselves, “I can do it. Through persistence, and patience, and practice, I can do it. I will do it.”

So how do you know if you are mentally tough?

Mental Toughness reveals itself in at least 3 key areas.

#1 Courage

This is not being fearless, but acting in accordance with what you know to be right, despite your fears.

#2.   Persistence

This relies on your courage. You must be willing to try. Not just once, or twice, but until you achieve your desired result.

#3.  An Optimistic Set of Beliefs

    Without this you won’t be able to accomplish #1 and you won’t continue your courage to the level of persistence outlined in #2. This is the foundation. The seed from which your tree of mental toughness will grow. The great thing is, confidence is a choice. You’ve got to choose to believe that you can. Belief is a choice. This is the muscle you must work out. If you are not acting inline with #1 or #2, chances are there’s a lack of belief. Courageous action and persistence are the hallmarks of unyielding, unwavering, relentless belief. You have to choose to have faith and believe, “I can do it. I can succeed. I can utilize all circumstances to develop positive results.”

How can you use the tough situations you are going through in order to gain mental toughness and sweeten the pot for your victory?