Ever feel that something’s got to give?

We’ve heard it said that desperate times call for desperate measures. To be desperate implies to have a major unmet need or desire. A dire situation.

When circumstances seem bleak for extended periods of time. We sometimes begin to despair. We feel hopeless. When we despair, we often don’t know what to do.  But I have found that something marvelous happens when we become desperate. In my life, desperation was the most beautiful gift I could have received.

For many years I had been living with the status quo. My family and I were, in the words of Chris Widener “living life like a paper cup in a parking lot,” letting the circumstances of life have their way with us. Before our situation became unbearable, I had been dissatisfied for many years, not with my family, but with our situation. I knew that I was not living for my purpose or my passion. “Why not?” you may wonder. To be perfectly honest, I allowed fear to stop me. (I used to say that I was paralyzed by fear, but now I understand that fear itself cannot stop anyone; fear can only stop you if you let it. ) So, I had allowed fear to keep me from attempting to accomplish my dreams. But then something wonderful happened. Sure, it didn’t seem wonderful at the time. In fact, it felt terrible. But after seven years of just letting life happen, the most amazing thing happened. I became DESPERATE! I remember calling out to God because I was in my thirties and still held back by fear. I wondered if there was any hope for me. I mean, really, if I hadn’t learned to move past my fear by now, would I ever?

God answered my prayer in the most bewildering way.  He didn’t take my fear away. But my circumstances became dire. I could no longer stand the status quo. Enough was enough. I came face to face with the realization that if I didn’t do something different, nothing would change. After all, I had already been “wishing” and “hoping” for seven years. I used to think, “Things will be better next month, or maybe next year…” Finally, I got to the breaking point. I knew that I had to change, if I wanted to change my results. I became desperate enough to do what had previously seemed so difficult, but in reality only took a single decision. I decided to CHANGE.

All people feel fear. ALL PEOPLE. Even the most brave among us. ESPECIALLY the most brave among us. The only difference between us, is that they have pressed on while feeling afraid more times than we have. If a person truly had no fear, they could never be brave. By definition courage requires that fear be present.

Maybe you are going through something right now that is especially difficult. Maybe you would have never wished this situation on yourself in a million years. I understand. But there is hope. There is a gift (maybe more than one) hidden inside the ugly oyster you are going through right now. God can use this desperate situation to motivate you to change the things you need to, in order to become the person you’ve always had the potential to be.

So how can you use a desperate situation for your gain?

#1. Dream. What would your life look like if anything were possible?

#2. Asses. What needs to change to achieve the life you have been longing for?

#3. Strategize. Looking at your end goal, break it down into smaller and smaller steps that will lead you to your dreams. (A marathon is run one step at a time.)

#4. Partner. We can run farther with someone at our side than alone and honestly, this is a journey so it should be worthwhile. Find someone who has similar goals and drive, especially if they are further on their journey than you, and meet regularly to discuss goals, achievements, and strategies.

#5. Progress: Daily progress is key. You don’t have to climb a mountain everyday, but if you take a few steps every day, you will climb that mountain. Make a list of 3 achievable things that will move you closer toward your goal at night before bed. Then the next day if you did all 3 things, you can feel good about your work. Of course, if you need your situation to change faster, you may have to do more each day, but progress is what you are monitoring.

#6. Focus. Look at what YOU can control. You can control YOUR efforts, but not necessarily the outcome. Results take time. Keep your goals in front of you and keep moving forward.

#7. Mind your mind. Surround yourself with positive people and resources. Read positive material and immerse yourself in a culture of success (videos, blogs, books, and friends.)

Question: How can you use what you are going through right now to motivate you to become the type person you’ve always wanted to be?